Hi everyone! I’ve dedicated this page to some topics dealing with mental health and living a happy, good lifestyle. These excerpts are just opinions and personal pieces that I put a lot of time into, so I hope you enjoy them!
I think one of my biggest personal struggles is choosing myself and knowing when to say “no”. Whether it’s putting someone’s happiness before my own, doing things for them, or simply not doing things for myself, I struggle with saying “no” if I have too much on my plate.
Naturally, I always put others before myself and I rarely feel appreciated in the end. For a lot of people, including me, it’s very hard to say “no” sometimes. I often will say yes to things, even if I have a ton of things to do on my own. After I say it I sometimes think “why the heck did I just say yes to that?!”
I think one huge thing I’ve noticed this year especially, is that you can’t say “yes” to everything and you can’t please everyone. Saying “yes” to everything sometimes makes you seem reliable, but it also may make you seem like a push over. Saying yes and doing multiple things for someone makes them think that you’ll always be there to do those things for them. The value of your actions goes down in someone’s eyes the more you do things for them. Instead of seeing it as a favor they may be grateful for, they may just view it as something they expect you to do. The “please” and “thank you’s” start to fade into “do this for me”, which is never a good thing.
Now, I’m not saying always say “no” because no one will appreciate you or give you recognition. I’m saying that you need to learn who you should say “no” to. Choose your “yes” answers wisely, because they’re worth something. I used to say yes to favors for people who didn’t appreciate them, and sometimes didn’t even say “thank you” and it genuinely would bother me. I don’t mind doing things for people, and I don’t need anything in return other than a possible “thank you” or “I appreciate it”.
I’ve learned this year that there are friends that will constantly ask you for favors but will never be there when you need a favor for them. Those people are the people that you need to be cautious saying “yes” to. They are the people that aren’t afraid to ask you a few times, and eventually will just expect you to do things the more times you say yes.
In the end, there’s nothing wrong with saying “no” if you have too much to do, or you simply don’t feel like doing what they ask. Going out of your way for someone is okay, and I encourage it. However, just make sure you’re getting the recognition or reward you want in the end, should you want one. Your time, your happiness, and your responsibilities are valuable- so don’t push those aside for someone else who wouldn’t do the same for you!
This semester in particular has been hard for me, and I’ve been struggling with something that I haven’t dealt with before: anxiety.
As someone who is usually so bubbly, always joking, and has a plan, this is really hard for me. I especially struggle with anxiety in large groups, and it’s truly hard when no one in the room knows how you feel or what’s going on inside. It’s definitely hard when people aren’t nice to me, or go out of their way to make me feel bad about myself. I know you should just “brush them off” but when you’re feeling the way you’re feeling it’s the last thing you need.
I really connect with this picture I found on instagram. I personally bottle things up, and deal with my stress and anxiety alone because I don’t 1. want other people knowing and 2. want to be a burden to other people. Anyone with anxiety knows that when you’re feeling anxious, its absolutely NOT fun to be stuck in a crowded room with people. All I want to do in that situation is leave, because it’s hard for me to put that smile on when I’m feeling anxious.
Coloring + Stress Relief:
One thing that I’ve started to do is color. I know that may sound stupid, but it’s so relaxing. It’s also very affordable. Here’s some ways to get your hands on coloring materials:
- I got an adult coloring book on Amazon Prime for $6 (I searched adult coloring and Coloring for Anxiety) and colored pencils at the dollar store. Grand Total: $8
- Google “Adult Color Print Outs” and there are a ton of free print-outs to download. (Free)
- Freestyle sketch (Free)
Here’s an example:
I have tried to make it a goal for me to color every night, however lately that hasn’t been possible. I do however try to color at least a little bit before huge social situations, such as going to weekend bars and parties.
Here’s my coloring routine:
- Turn on my string lights and shut off my bright overhead
- Light a candle with a soft scent
- Put on some soft pop music, or no music at all
- PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE
- Get snacks, water, whatever you may want
- Get comfortable and curl up
- Get coloring
- Get in Zen Mode!
My Zen Mode as I like to call it, is when you’re completely relaxed and only focusing on coloring. Your next and only worry is what color and line you’ll pick next. This is a great state of relaxation because you are thinking soft thoughts about things, however you’re not thinking about those stressors and triggers. Some of my thoughts include my friends, family, dog, happy memories, and sometimes even day dream!
If you find yourself struggling with anxiety, search for ways such as coloring to relax and get in zen mode, even just for a little bit!